Before any big adventure, I always get this strange feeling of anxiety. It’s not the typical, negative anxiety that I often experience. It’s a positive, excited feeling. While I’m not a daredevil or adrenaline junkie by any means, I love the feeling of getting outside of my comfort zone, and the anticipation often distracts me from the present.
Last year, I embarked on a spontaneous road trip to New Orleans as a means of escaping my hometown where I was bored and forced to deal with problems I would rather ignore. I was happy to get away to avoid reality.
This year, I’m happier than I’ve ever felt at home. In Chicago, I finally have my own apartment and a new sense of independence. In Jacksonville, I have been spending more time with my dad especially, but I’ve also been closer with my sister and her sons since they are living at home. When holidays usually trigger my disordered eating tendencies, this year I have finally been able to cope. For the first time in years, I was able to bake and I enjoyed every minute of it as I spent it with family instead of stressing about the calories or nutrient content. I’m closer with my hometown friends than I ever have been, and for once, I don’t feel like I need to escape reality.
Instead, I’m learning that part of my routine is always embarking on something new. My friends and family recognize and encourage my passion for adventure and exploration, making it so much easier to pursue my own dreams and goals. I’ve been able to reduce my anxious anticipation. Adventure has become part of my routine, for better or worse. For a wild soul like mine, I think it is always better.
“I mused for a few moments on the question of which was worse — to lead a life so boring that you are easily enchanted, or a life so full of stimulus that you are easily bored.” // Bill Bryson