Earlier this year, I was discussing with a friend my 2019 intention of curiosity, especially in the realm of ~woo-woo~. She recommended a reading with a clairvoyant psychic. I was immediately skeptical, and I didn’t think about it for several months. When we talked again and she told me that if I didn’t get anything out of it, she would pay for it. Okay, that’s reasonable enough. I’ll bite.
Clairvoyant – noun – A person who claims to have a supernatural ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact.
Through a phone call (no video), they are able to perceive your aura. They work through your chakras to provide visual images that depict what’s going on at each level, possibly in the past, future, or present.
We began the reading by me repeating my full name and birthday three times in a row. Then he began.
After a few moments of silence, he picked up a blueish-green vibration. This means a lot of growth and clarity. The first image he described to me was absurd. I was ready to text my friend and call bullshit on her. But I politely listened and took very detailed notes.
He sees an emergency room, and I’m the nurse pushing the hospital bed with urgency. Everyone is frantic, but I am also the baby being born, and I’m chill af (I am paraphrasing).
Did I have any complications at birth? (My mom can confirm that no, although she was 43 when I was born, she pushed her sixth child out no problem #likeaboss).
His interpretation then started making more sense, and it really was the theme of the entire reading. There’s a dichotomy between urgent fear and relaxed trust. He thinks that for my whole life, it’s been a bit of an out-of-body experience. I struggle to feel present and surrender to the unexpected. Adults are not in control as they may want to be.
As I begin this new chapter of my life, I’m responsible for the life I’m creating and I have an inner desire to connect to my own certainty of being. Huh. Okay.
Then he went on for a few minutes about how I would be a great ER nurse because I’m really good at fast-paced decision making. Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate doctors and I could never ever ever be a nurse. Props to y’all who are.
He also said that even though I’m seen as a leader, I still take on too much responsibility. This is true.
Alright, so let’s dive into the chakras. There are seven chakras, all representing different parts of the body, life, and energy.
1st Layer – Root Chakra (survival space, career, money, sense of belonging)
This has a greenish-blue vibration. He saw me rearranging an attic space, writing out how I will do so. I’m expecting guests, so I’m cleaning out nervously yet excitedly. This represents new things coming into my life. I know that to be open to new opportunities, I need to clear out the old shit. It stresses me out, but I also want it. Now I need to focus on how I can integrate them together.
Okay, truuuuue. Yup. This is me literally and metaphorically. Okay, low-hanging fruit though, right?
2nd Layer – Sacral Chakra (sexuality, pleasure, experience)
This chakra had a yellow aura, and there were two images.
In the first, I’m riding the backseat of a convertible, arms up and enjoying the sun on a beautiful day. (Did he somehow see the 400-second Snap story I posted in 2015 when I was hanging out an Uber on the way to a club?) He says I need to relinquish control and enjoy the moment. I need to let someone else drive while I enjoy for once. He recommends I embrace the sense of abundance in this season/environment, and really expand myself to take in and receive as much life as I can. Okay, trying.
But, there is a dichotomy with the second image where I’m sweeping up leaves because I don’t want to get carried away.
I want to be spontaneous and mysterious, but I still like to know the plan. If I’m going to create something, then I need to be the author. Both are true in their own domain, and I need to work on that balance for my own sanity. A lot of good things can still come from the unexpected, and I need to figure out a way to validate the usefulness without getting caught in the details.
3rd Layer – Solar Plexus Chakra (instinct, personal power)
This layer is also teal, and he said it was really lit up in overdrive. I was frantically cleaning. Is this whole thing going to be about me being a control freak and neat freak?!
He looked further to see what was initiating this frenzy.
He said when I’m presented with a handful of projects, I get uncomfortable with a big project on the horizon, so I get it done as quickly as possible to avoid that feeling. Hello, yes, this is called anxiety!
He encourages me to rest because I can’t get everything done at once. He said this is a recurring pattern that I have been conditioned to repeat. To change this pattern, I only need to be aware and choose how to respond to these stressors (hellooooo manifesting generator!).
He decides to look closer to see where this pattern is coming from. He sees me as a child, watching my mom. I want my mom’s attention, but she’s busy working in overdrive, trying to manage a million things at once before my dad gets home. To not accomplish all her tasks would be a failure, and it would be a failure in the family system to not keep things moving. There is a strong fear that if she doesn’t provide value, then she is unsafe.
Well, damn. DRAG ME AND MY WHOLE FAMILY WHY DON’T YOU!
This makes total sense and is a very real thing I’ve been working on in therapy. My self-worth is often tied to what value I bring to either my work or my family. I need to just be aware when my lifelong (and ancestral) habits pull me into a self-deprecating spiral of anxiety.
(My mom confirms that yes, this is a cycle I need to break!)
4th Layer – Heart Chakra (love, relationships, self-acceptance)
This aura is green, and he sees me on a horse ranch, journaling. In this particular picture, I’m away from my daily life and on what seems to be a retreat or summer camp, checking in with myself and reflecting on my priorities. By eliminating the noise, I’m able to level set before resetting in reality.
Um, this was me in Barcelona. This is me whenever I take solo trips. Okay, so I’m doing something right!
He recommended I really focus on this layer because it will influence the first three layers.
5th Layer – Throat Chakra (self-expression, inner voice)
My fifth layer was blue, and once again, I’m in panic mode. Great. I’m grasping at my eyes? Oh, I’m wearing a blindfold? He says this image has a dreamlike quality to it. It’s like I’m in a nightmare and can’t wake up. Oh wait, I’m actually afraid to wake up and take the blindfold off to see reality??
Not being able to see was my defense. If I can see, am I going to see something I don’t want to? Is there a truth I can’t handle? Have I not been truthful with others or have others not been truthful with me? Woof. Okay.
He recommends I try to take off the mask (is it a Catwoman mask?) and laugh at myself. Remind myself what is actually reality. Hmmmmmmmm.
6th Layer – Third Eye Chakra (intuition, sense of purpose, vision, imagination)
This layer was also teal, but he sensed some static buildup. He did some healing work to clear it out?
As a sensitive person, I’ll naturally pick up on things psychically. I may be unaware or aware. I’m picking things up on a clairvoyant level. Didn’t have anything to do with me. I need to clean my energy like I would clean my physical space.
Hopefully not frantically.
He said the image is in a cave, and I’m wearing a cat costume again. Meow. I’m taking him to the cave, and although I’m apprehensive, I’m eager to show him. He sees monks and yogis staring at a wall in meditation as if they’re looking in the mirror. I’m a curious kitten, interested in what’s going on but also ready to jolt at any moment.
He said this could be carried over from other lifetimes, and it’s like the last layer. I seem to be allergic to spirituality, and I’m afraid of jumping all in.
Well, beloved reader, what do you think?
7th Layer – Crown Chakra (connection to the divine, my spirit)
In my last layer, it’s still on the spectrum of yellow-green-blue. I’m on a roller coaster, anticipating the drop. I’ve done it many times before so I know what’s going to happen, but I’m still fearful.
This component of letting go keeps coming up, and it requires trust. I need to find some way to trust God/the universe/spirit/whatever I want to call it. As I approach massive growth periods, I need to recognize these fears that come up and relinquish control. I need to trust it will all work out.
Do I think he read me well? Yes, absolutely. Do I think he provided any new information? No, not really. However, I think sharing his perspective was very affirmative. I guess I know this stuff already because I am a highly sensitive empath with clairvoyant tendencies? Now, I need to use this affirmation to surrender those fears and trust myself moving forward. New year, same me — just more confident, self-assured, and unapologetic.
Check out my other posts from this year of curiosity!